Communication Secret to Getting Your Way

Marian Bell of demonstrated the most powerful communication skill I know – she asked me gently for what she wanted me to do.

I buy delicious food from her each week which she delivers to my house every Monday. In order to get her food, I have to place an order each week. She really wants customer’s orders in by Saturday. But golly! Seems like it is always Sunday morning when I get around to thinking about placing the order!   I have been sending in an order on Sundays. She has graciously put up with this for a long time.

Last week, she called me on the phone. Here is what she said in the sweetest tone. “Sandra, I am calling to change your programming!” she said with a smile in her voice. “Would you please try to get your order in by Saturday at noon? I really need Sunday off. When you order on Sunday, I have to change things on my day off.”  “Just, do the best you can.”

I said YES immediately! Marian had not shamed or blamed me, nor was there any anger in her voice. We both laughed at the situation. And I got close this weekend! I got the order in by 2 pm on Saturday.  She said, “Perfect!”

When I acknowledged her for the gracious way she handled me, she said it’s all about asking for what you want. That is the secret communication technique. Simply ask for what you want and back it up with why you want it.

What do you want that you have not asked for?  How can you ask gently for it? Practice this and you will see how much goes your way.