by Sandra Zimmer
I know it sounds impossible, but you can learn to transform stage fright sensations into a sense of authentic presence that radiates confidence to speak in front of groups. After more than 30 years of research and hands-on training of thousands of professionals, I say this with confidence. Those of you who have the most stage fright or fear of public speaking have the potential to be the most impactful speakers or performers, because you have the feelings! Your feelings are up to the surface where you can use them to create a genuine emotional connection with the audience. Rather than trying to get rid of your stage fright sensations, learn to tap into them and transform them into the energy of passion that will help you speak to groups with confidence.
Four Steps that Transform Stage Fright
To transform your stage fright into authentic presence, you must become genuine when you speak to others. To help yourself become authentic, learn to do the following four things.
- Accept yourself as a sensitive person with strong feelings and make yourself right for having human emotions.
- Include your emotional self when you are communicating or presenting so that others can perceive your passion.
- Stay grounded in your physical body when you speak or present to others.
- Open to receive love and support from groups and audiences, letting go of the expectation that they are going to judge you.
Because you are sensitive, you must develop a style of speaking and presenting that is based on being who you really are, not who you think you should be. Your degree of comfort is directly related to your willingness to be real. Only when you are authentic will you feel totally comfortable and confident.
What Causes Stage Fright
To transform stage fright into authentic presence, it may help to understand what causes stage fright, what happens in stage fright and what presence is. So, let me explain what I have discovered about stage fright and fear of public speaking.
Stage fright is fear of feeling in front of others. It is simply strong emotional energy you do not know how to express when you become the center of attention or have to speak or perform in some way.
Stage fright is always triggered by two things. First is the belief that you should be perfect and that somehow you are not good enough just as you are. Second is the expectation that you are going to be judged as lacking or less than others.
If you have a lot of stage fright, it is because you did not learn it was acceptable to be the sensitive person you are. It may even be that you were actually criticized and diminished for your thoughts, feelings and your very being. As a result you experience being the center of attention as uncomfortable and shameful rather than exciting and pleasurable. You cannot contain the strong sensations within your body because they seem too intense and out of control. You believe that if you show your true feelings that you will be unacceptable to others.
As a result, when you become the center of attention, there is only one thing to do – try to leave. You probably avoid public speaking or being the center of attention in any way you can. If you can’t get out of the situation by avoiding the event, then you have to try to avoid the sensations felt inside. That means, you have to try to “leave” your physical body by abandoning awareness of your body. This abandonment of the physical self happens instantly and unconsciously.
The way you leave your body is to “go up into your head” in an attempt to avoid the emotions. Your awareness rises up into your head so your head is flooded with energy and you cannot think clearly. It feels like your head swells or you are in a fog. From the neck down, you tighten the body in order to freeze the flow of feeling. Suddenly, you no longer have awareness of being in your body. You are no longer present, no longer grounded. Your awareness is somewhere else. Your mind is trying to help you feel safe but it actually leaves you feeling disoriented and more vulnerable. Your body loses strength and stability. Since you are not relaxed into your body, it begins to shake and tremble in an attempt to get energy flowing and bring you back inside your body. You can probably describe many more symptoms of stage fright and fear of public speaking, including sweaty palms, fat tongue, neck and face flushing, heart pounding, loss of breath and high, squeaky voice.
Of course, there is no way to do a great presentation, performance or to communicate effectively in this ungrounded state. Traditional presentation training would have you believe that if you learn the mechanics of public speaking all will be well. That simply does not work for people with strong stage fright. It does not work to overlay mechanical speaking skills on top of so much fear. You can learn the mechanics of presentation but that does not deal with the underlying emotional intensity.
The Value of a Safe Group for Transforming Stage Fright
To transform your stage fright, you need to let yourself have the experience of feeling your feelings in front of others. I believe you need a safe group of people in an unconditionally supportive atmosphere to go through the process of transforming stage fright. Because stage fright is fear of feeling in front of others, you need other people to witness your process of opening to be authentic. When you are willing to go through your fear by focusing attention into the uncomfortable body sensations and share them with others who have similar stage fright sensations, you will find the experience is not as bad as you expected.
In fact, as you allow yourself permission to feel your tensions and share them, you will be amazed at how quickly they release out of your body. Giving yourself permission to feel releases the emotional intensity in a way that is truly spiritual in nature. When you do not resist the sensations, they literally dissolve away. As the tension dissolves, you start to relax deeply into your own body. You feel a sense of your own soul flowing through your body. As others in a group give you acceptance for being who you are, you relax into your authentic self. You begin to shine with an inner sense of confidence and are energized from within to share your passion. Your body radiates psycho-physical energy and your presence increases. It actually feels good to be the center of attention. You discover a new, safe ground inside your own body – a quiet place of power and presence. You develop the palpable presence that makes you magnetic to others.
Presence and Grounding to Transform Stage Fright
Presence is the opposite of stage fright. Instead of being up in your head, you are relaxed fully into your body or grounded as I call it. When you are present and grounded, you experience an inner flow state of being all here now, focused in this moment.
Grounding is the most effective antidote to stage fright and fear of public speaking that I know. It produces a remarkable sense of safety, strength and mental clarity. To ground yourself, learn to shift attention and energy from your head and redistribute it throughout your entire body all the way down to your feet. You can think on your feet when you are in your feet. To assist people in learning to ground, I have recorded a grounding meditation on an audio file, which you can purchase from my web site at www.sandrazimmer.com. Repeated over time, grounding creates a full-bodied sense of awareness. It helps you stay in your body and connect to your authentic feelings in intense situations such as speaking in a group meeting or giving a presentation.
It is the inner connection to full feeling or passion that is so magnetic. People are drawn to passion. Passion is star quality energy. As you develop more of this star quality energy, your presence becomes so strong that others sense it. You touch people on an unspoken level with the power to influence and hold the attention of others. Star quality or authentic presence is the ability to allow others to see who you are. A star is willing to be seen and to receive the attention of others. In receiving others fully, you are giving back love and support to them.
You Can Transform Your Stage Fright
If all this sounds impossible for you let me assure you that it is not. You can transform your stage fright into authentic presence. In the mid 1980’s, I began to experiment with my own stage fright and with my acting and speaking students. Following my intuition, I discovered a group process that helps people go through their stage fright and develop a presence that radiates with the passion of their soul. In my Sandra Zimmer Method, I have found that the people in my classes who have the most stage fright are always the ones who touch us the deepest. As they learn to be authentic with their depth of feeling and learn to use that feeling to their benefit, they connect so powerfully with others that they captivate us with their passion.
I hope the awareness I have shared here is of value to you. This article has only been able to share a small amount of information about stage fright and fear of public speaking and how to heal it. The real magic is in the doing of it – in the allowing yourself to go through the process. If you are interested in finding out more about The Sandra Zimmer Method, please visit my web site at: sandrazimmer.com.
Sandra Zimmer is the President and Founder of the Self-Expression Center in Houston, Texas. She works with professionals who are struggling with communication, who are gripped with fear about speaking to groups, want to develop executive presence or who don’t like the sound of their voice. She guides people through experiential learning programs that connect them with their natural abilities to express, communicate and present so they feel confident to share their ideas, insights and expertise with the world. Sandra can be reached at 281-293-7070.